WordGarden.ioingratiate
C2Pronunciation
UK
- /ɪnɡrˈeɪʃɪˌeɪt/
US
- /ˌɪŋˈɡreɪʃiˌeɪt/
Meanings
Verb
to deliberately make someone like or favor oneself, often through flattery
Beyond the definition
Imagine a puppy trying to get a treat: tail wagging, big eyes, maybe even a little paw on your leg. That puppy is trying to get on its owner's good side. To ingratiate yourself means to try to win someone's approval or favor through flattery, kindness, or helpful actions. It is about making yourself likable, often because you want something. You might see politicians trying to ingratiate themselves with voters before an election, or a new employee trying to ingratiate themselves with their boss. Be careful, though: if the effort is too obvious, it can seem fake.
To ingratiate oneself with someone is to deliberately try to win their favor by being pleasant, helpful, or flattering. It's more than just being nice; it implies a planned effort to gain approval, often because you want something from the other person.
Think of someone new joining a team at work. They might bring in donuts for everyone (a small kindness), offer to help with extra tasks (being helpful), and compliment their colleagues' work (flattery) – all attempts to ingratiate themselves with the group.
However, ingratiation isn't always seen as positive. It can suggest insincerity or manipulation if it feels overly calculated. A character in a novel might try to ingratiate themselves with a wealthy benefactor while hoping for a loan, but if their efforts are too transparent, the plan could backfire.
The word is often used when describing someone trying to gain an advantage through charm or flattery. You wouldn't say you ingratiated yourself with your best friend simply by being a good companion – that's just genuine friendship! But if you went out of your way to praise your boss's ideas specifically to secure a promotion, then you were likely trying to ingratiate yourself.
So, while kindness and politeness are always valuable, ingratiation specifically refers to the deliberate act of winning someone over with charm and flattery – often with an ulterior motive.
Examples
- 1
Workplace approval
He kept laughing at the manager's jokes to ingratiate himself with the boss.
- Patterningratiate yourself with + person
try to make that person like you
- 2
Team acceptance
She brought homemade cookies to the first meeting, hoping to ingratiate herself with the team.
- 3
Political lobbying
The lobbyist tried to ingratiate himself with key senators before the vote.
- 4
Apology avoidance
Instead of apologizing, he attempted to ingratiate himself by offering everyone free tickets.
- Patterningratiate yourself by + action
try to win approval through that action
See also
Similar
Shades of meaning
Contrast
Used with (collocations)
- ingratiate oneself with someone
- ingratiate himself with
- try to ingratiate oneself
Word family
- ingratiating
- ingratiation
Explore
- obsequiousness
- flattery
Forms and spellings
4 forms open this card.
Main spelling
- ingratiateverb
Forms
- ingratiating-ing formverb
- ingratiatedpast tenseverb
- ingratiatesverb